I do not consider myself an intellectual elitist. I feel different people have different strengths and that's perfectly okay. As a matter of fact, not only is it okay, it's essential for our survival as a species. For example, it wouldn't do us as a species any good to have 6 billion people on Earth with the ability to develop a better, more efficient car, if we don't have anybody who was mehcanically gifted that was able to build or repair that car. I personally can't tell a spark plug from a butt plug, so I thank God for people who can, because if not for them, I'd be screwed.
However, having said that, I do think if you cannot at least passably manage to grasp the English language (as native speakers), then you should probably just shut the fuck up, and that includes writing anything that is intended for others to read. It never ceases to amaze me when I meet people who are not native speakers who manage to come into this country and within a couple years, have managed to master the English language better than 99% of native English speakers writing in forums and comment sections on the internet. And for the record, I am NOT talking about spelling here, as I think spelling tends to fall into the "different people with different strengths" category, not to mention the prevalence of different types of short-hand used nowadays. No, for the purpose of this rant, I am talking about people who just don't know the English language very well and who will use THE WRONG FUCKING WORD ENTIRELY. And I may lose my internet troll membership card here, but people who use the spelling "your" when they actually mean "you're" don't actually bother me that much, probably because all the douchebag wannabe intellectuals who feel compelled to point it out so everyone knows how much smarter they are piss me off even more. So without further ado...
THINGS PEOPLE SAY (OR WRITE) THAT DRIVES ME FUCKING CRAZY BECAUSE THEY'RE USING THE WRONG FUCKING WORD:
"For free," as in "I got a piece of candy for free from this guy in a trench coat driving a van." - According to dictionary.com, the word "free" means "provided without, or not subject to, a charge or payment." Therefore, the word "for" is completely unnecessary. Using the word "for" in front of the word "free" would be like using it in front of the word "expensive" as in "My new car was for expensive." Sounds retarded, doesn't it? Yeah, so does "for free."
"Too fold," as in "My issues with the blind date my friend hooked me up with were too fold; she was ugly AND she had herpes." - It's "twofold," because you're talking about two different reasons, not "in addition" reasons.
"Could of," as in "I could of got laid last night, but my date woke up." - I've actually heard people defend this one before by actually arguing with me that that's how we say it. Shithead, yes, it may sound that way phonetically, but it's "could've" the contraction, meaning "could HAVE" you buttfucking imbecile. Could HAVE, not could OF. Side note here, this one also applies to "should of" and "would of."
"Million of dollars," as in "I wish I had a million of dollars so I could quit my dishwashing job at Burger King." - Again, the word "of" is just a totally unnecessary word thrown in for no reason at all.
"Pitcher," as in "I once took a pitcher of my penis and meant to text it to my girlfriend, but texted it to my grandma instead." - Pitcher is someone who throws a ball on a pile of dirt in a really boring game that's losing popularity faster than a whore that finds Jesus. A PICTURE is an image of something.
"Sell," as in "There's always someone with hookers and crack for sell on the corner by my house." - I absolutely despise people who use "sale" and "sell" interchangeably because they don't know the difference.
"Through," as in "I drank too much last night and I through up all over my bedroom floor. - Much like the last one, people who don't know the difference between "through" and "threw."
"Mute," as in "I was able to come up with a really good excuse for why I couldn't get my dick up last night, but my date was already gone, so it was a mute point." - Ditto along with the last two for "Mute" and "Moot."
"Worse," as in "That chick with the hairy armpits and the mustache was the worse lay I've ever had." - Unless you're only comparing to one other, it's WORST, not WORSE.
"And," as in "My favorite porno is and hour long, but I've only ever seen the first five minutes." - I will never figure out why some people just feel compelled to add extra letters for no apparent reason when it only makes them look like idiots.
"New," as in, "My ex-girlfriend's suing me, but she's a liar. She new I had crabs because I told her before we had sex." - Maybe she KNEW, you had crabs, but clearly you need to find a NEW girlfriend.
"Right," as in, "I never right checks to hookers. It makes it too easy to get caught." - Jerry Springer would agree you've got the RIGHT idea. You never WRITE checks to hookers.
For a bonus point, guess which one of the above sentences are true about me.
people think I sent a picture of my penis to my grandma