Last Monday night, in front of God and a national viewing audience, the replacement referee situation in the NFL came to a head. Granted it had already come to a head, like, every single game since they'd been there. But Monday night was the first time when a bad call made by a replacement was literally the sole deciding factor in which team won, which team lost, and the wrong call was made. The call was atrocious. The pass was inarguably an interception according to NFL rules and the eyes of me, you, and everybody else who saw that play (except for Golden Tate and Pete Carroll). The NFL's next-day response of "We support the official's decision not to overturn the call" was a load of bullshit in an attempt to save face, and Roger Goodell's "I'm sorry I had to put the fans in this situation" was an even bigger load of bullshit wherein he tried to pass the buck onto the regular refs who are clearly more valuable than anybody realized. The whole situation was one big clusterfuck that will likely have an impact on the playoffs, as one game can easily be the difference between making or missing the playoffs, winning the division or getting a wild card spot, getting a bye or playing the first week, and playing at home or on the road in the conference championship. Not just with the single game differential, this game also has major ramifications for tiebreakers, as in-conference records come into play heavily and common-opponent records come into play heavily and all the NFC North and NFC West teams will play each other this year, so it's very likely that at least one team will get screwed because of this game come playoff time. Not to mention, records and tiebreakers ALSO affect drafting order, meaning some current college players may well end up in different locations next year as a result of this colossal blunder. I mean you really could do a whole butterfly effect ripple with this thing, it's that big of a mess.
Having said all that, if such a travesty is going to occur, here's why I'm ecstatic that it happened to the Packers:
- Obviously, I'm a Lions fan, and therefore I hate all other NFC north teams, so might as well get that one out up front so some Packer fan doesn't try and say I'm pretending otherwise.
- Years and years of Brett Favre's prima donna bullshit.
- Years of Aaron Rodgers' "I'm as good as Brett Favre" bullshit. And no, he's not. Matt Flynn threw for 500 yards and 6 TDs in one game in the same offense with the same players, and he couldn't even beat out Russell Wilson for the starting job in Seattle. Not saying Rodgers isn't a good quarterback, but those of you swinging from his nuts who like to talk about him being better than Favre because he had one really good MVP season need to get over yourself. Aaron Rodgers for the entire body of work of his starting career has only been a Top-3 quarterback in fantasy football, not actual on-the-field talent. And don't even give me that bullshit about how they have the same number of Super Bowl wins, because they also have the same number as Trent Dilfer and Brad Johnson and you're not about to argue that those two are anywhere near the same ballpark.
- Jermichael Finley and his whiny diva attitude. You know, normally, it's the wide receivers who feel compelled to act like prima donna douchebags, but apparently since the Packers' receivers are actually okay guys, the tight end felt he had to pick up their slack because he thinks he's a wide receiver.
- The first "Discount Double Check" commercial, which is one of the most annoying commercials to come out in the last five years. "That's my touchdown dance!" "So... you're a ....dancer?" "NO, I'M A QUARTERBACK!" "Ooooooh, I'm a robot!" No asshole, you're a gigantic fucking douchebag who annoys the ever-living hell out of me every fucking time that commercial's on. And pretending like you're putting a title belt around your waist isn't a dance anyway, asshole. It's a gesture. It's a dance in the same way the "Mile High Salute" is a dance. Fucking moron.
- The second "Discount Double Check" commercial. The problem with putting out one incredibly annoying commercial that's supposed to be funny but isn't, is that there's always some stupid asshole who thinks it is, so they make more of them, like how the annoying fucking Geico caveman commercials are still going even though they've all been fucking annoying since the first one. So to top themselves for the Discount Double Check, what'd they do? Oh yeah, let's bring in fucking B.J. Raji's fat fucking ass and have him dance to some incredibly shitty and annoying song. And if Aaron Rodgers is so pissed off at them stealing his touchdown "dance," why the fuck does he keep going back to the same place? Because if some asshole stole my shtick, I'd kick them in the balls and then leave, never to return. But I guess I'm just smarter than Aaron Rodgers.
- The Lambeau Leap, which is the single most overrated touchdown celebration in the game. A lot of people love this, but I hate it. I like that they're trying to involve the fans, but they're only involving the rich fans who have their front-row season tickets that most people couldn't afford with their lifetime savings. Nice idea, but if you want to show appreciation for the fans, give me the guys who throw a ball into the 30th row and give a souvenir to the fans who can't afford front-row tickets and who probably don't get tickets very often.
- Do do do, duh do do do do GO PACK GO! Do do do, duh do do do do GO PACK GO! Do do do, duh do do do do GO PACK GO! Can you assholes get a new fucking song already? It's actually become more annoying than the mother fucking Chicken Dance. Seriously, can you do the Chicken Dance instead? That would be less annoying than the GO PACK GO bullshit.
- Packers fans suffer from "Our Team Won a couple Super Bowls so We Have to Be Assholes" syndrome. Packer fans are some of the most obnoxious sports fans in the world. Don't believe me? Just listen to the crowd noise during games at Lambeau. Packer fans taunt more and talk more shit than damn near any other pro football team's fans right now. And really, why do any fans of sports teams feel the need to talk shit about teams they have literally no affiliation with at all outside of a rooting interest? Just because the team you like won a game doesn't mean you accomplished something any more than it means someone who roots for a team that loses should be embarrassed. Sitting on your fat ass drinking beer and watching TV doesn't somehow give you any ownership or bragging rights of an outcome you didn't affect in the least.
- Dumbass Packer fans that like to remind everyone that they have 12 NFL championships. Yeah, you do, but those first 8 (and really the first 10) aren't really anything to brag about if you know a single fucking thing about the league's early days. When the Packers first started winning their titles, there were only like ten teams to compete with and most of those weren't competitive at all. League championships were decided based on who had the best won-loss record, even though not all teams played the same number of games and some games were even played against college teams or teams from outside the league. Nobody took an NFL championship seriously back when the Packers won most of theirs, yet dumbass fans still like to brag about it, even though you don't hear teams like the Lions and Browns (two other early-day powerhouses) talking about them because they know those titles don't fucking matter in the Super Bowl and free agency era we have today. Trying to compare a title win in the 20s won by won-loss record when games were played against the Dayton Triangles, the Muncie Flyers, the Kenosha Maroons, and some random college teams to a Super Bowl win today makes a complete mockery of the idea and really makes you look like a fucking idiot. I mean the league was so uncompetitive back then that when Don Hutson played for the Packers, he would have as many receiving yards as the next five top receivers in the league combined. Seriously, look it up and see just how uncompetitive it was. You wonder why the greats back then were able to look so dominant over everybody else? They were playing with and against people who all had full-time jobs and there was a very limited pool of players anyway because football wasn't anywhere near the popularity of today. Even up through the Packers Super Bowl I and II wins, the league was still mostly a competitive joke due to a small player pool and competing leagues and whatnot. Honestly, Super Bowl wins should only count starting in the free agency era, because that's when the league became truly competitive. So really Packer fans, you have two championships that are actually meaningful. Congratulations, you're behind the Patriots and Cowboys (3 each) and tied with the Giants, Broncos, and Steelers. So in the free agency era, which is the standard for competitiveness in the NFL, there are six teams with two Super Bowl wins. Stop acting like you're the best team in history because of glorified intramural games played by full-time plumbers, bank tellers, and factory workers almost a hundred years ago.
- And while I'm shitting on Packer fans, I might as well mention how interesting it is that there are a lot more Packer fans since they won their last Super Bowl. Almost like they're not REALLY fans, they're bandwagoning douchebags who just throw in with whatever flavor of the month team is all over and then talk down to other actual LOYAL fans who stick with a team even when they suck. If you don't stick with a team through the tough times, (like the late 60s through the early 90s for the Packers when they couldn't buy a winning season), you have no right to pretend to be a fan when they're doing well. The Packers themselves and REAL Packers fans don't have anything to do with the Johny-Come-Lately douchebags, I just thought I'd throw that out there because fuck them even more than the "12 NFL championships" dipshits.
- Evan Dietrich-Smith. You know, that fucking scrub who isn't even a starter who will forever be known for getting knocked on his ass and stomped on by Ndamukong Suh on Thanksgiving. Now don't get me wrong, I'm not excusing what Suh did. As a matter of fact, I've been saying since before that incident that Suh needed to get his head on straight and get his temper under control because he was hurting the team. I mean you just can't body slam a quarterback by his facemask. You just can't do it. And Suh needs to learn that. And you can't retaliate when some shitty ass, talentless scrubby motherfucker gets chippy all game because he's trying to get you to do something stupid. Oh you mean you didn't read that interview, did you? Of course you didn't. Because nobody wanted to talk about the fact that after the game, Dietrich-Smith admitted that the Packers were openly discussing Suh's temper and how if you push him, he'll do dumb things and get penalties, and then they went out and made it happen. No, that wasn't the story, the story was what a bastard Suh was and how all of a sudden the entire team plays dirty, even guys like Calvin Johnson and Jason Hanson who are long-time model citizens and consummate professionals who I've literally never heard one negative thing about. But they all got lumped in as dirty players because of one (admittedly dirty, ugly, stupid, and uncalled-for) play by one player on a nationally televised game. And again, not to excuse Suh, because what he did was inexcusable, but I got really tired really fast of everybody talking like Dietrich-Smith was a poor, innocent victim. No asshole, he was a self-admitted instigator. You know what it reminds me of? When I was growing up, I had a younger brother. I was older, bigger, stronger, and yes, I had more of a temper. But he, as the younger brother, was a little instigating shit-starter who would push every button he knew I had just to see me go off. So he would push and push and push and push and push and push and push, and then finally I'd go off and all of a sudden I'm the bad guy and he's the poor innocent victim. No, fuck that. Evan Dietrich-Smith is the NFL's version of an instigating little brother who never grew up and Suh is the bigger, stronger, more temperamental older brother. No, you don't excuse the older brother when he does something out of line, because they need to know better and act better, but you also need to put the scrubby little shit-starting pussy-ass little brothers in their place. And his place is the bench, because that's where he spends most of his time on a team that just gave up eight sacks in one half to the Seahawks, so that tells you just how good of an offensive lineman he is when he can't even start for that hot mess of a line.
- Speaking of the Packers and shit talking, I'm sick of how just being in Green Bay makes people automatically shit on the Lions for no reason at all. Cedric Benson, when asked why he went to the Packers didn't say anything like the Packers are a great team with a great history and I want to be part of something great. No. He said "They've got a better chance than the Lions." Really? Really? REALLY? The very first thing you say as a Packer before you've touched the ball or even put on a God damn uniform has to be a dig at the Lions? Not the Bears who are also division rivals and who also drafted and dumped you. I'm telling you, something about being in Green Bay just turns people into obnoxious shit-talkers. That statement by him would even bother me as a Packer fan. I don't know about how you feel about players on your favorite team, but I want the people who play for the Lions to play for the Lions because they WANT to play for the Lions. I don't want them to play for the Lions because they DON'T want to play for someone else. I want them to go into every game because they love the team they're on and they want their team to succeed, not because they just don't like those other assholes. And who the fuck is Cedric Benson anyway? He had a few decent years in Cincinnati, but if he was such hot shit, why did it take him so long to find a new team?
- Clay Matthews needs a fucking haircut. I respect the playing ability, but you're not Axl Rose, Bret Michaels, or any other douchebag 80s metal icon. Cut your fucking hair.
- I'm sick to death of seeing the Packers everywhere. Even when they lose it's All Packers All The Time. If they're in a prime-time game, the attention and talk time is all about them no matter who their opponent is. Like this week, for example. It's been 90% about how the Packers got screwed by the refs, and 10% about how the Seahawks (who have finished 7-9 in consecutive season) got handed an early Christmas present that could very well allow them to sneak into the playoffs. Let's face it, the Seahawks are more likely to make the playoffs because of the win than the Packers are to miss the playoffs because of the loss, so the real story here is actually the Seahawks and whatever team misses the playoffs by the one game the Seahawks were spotted, yet people still focus on the Packers because we all just have to swing from their fucking nuts nonstop. Which brings me to my last point...
- The Packers are the new Cowboys. They are the mother fucking Cowboys. Yeah, I said it. Suck my dick.
people didn't realize how much they hated the Packers until just now