In addition to the new house with the haunted basement, I've now got a new computer. And on this new computer I have a new operating system. That system? The abortion of computer programming known as Windows Vista. Is this supposed to be better than the last version? Because if it is, I have a seriously different idea of what "better" is. See, to me, better means something that's maybe more advanced, more efficient, easier to use, or capable of doing more. You know, something that's actually worth having as opposed to the older version. In other words, the opposite of Vista. Vista fucking sucks. It makes some programs operate slower. It causes random programs to have have random unintended side effects. It's uncompatible with other programs. It makes other programs go ape shit and kick you in the balls. The whole operating system is so shitty, it was clearly designed by a Canadian.
Then there's the user-friendliness of it. I hate the way everything is set up. I hate having a window open, looking up in the left corner, and not seeing the word "File." I hate having all these side menus instead of drop-down menus. I hate my recycle bin looking like a fucking Dixie cup. I hate the whole "favorite links" bullshit that's sticking out on the left side of every single folder. I realize it will just take some getting used to, but in the meantime it's pissing me off. I'm a curmudgeonly old man who is very resistant to change, and I hate you damn kids and your damn music for waiting on me to finally figure out your newfangled technology, and then fucking it all up so I have to learn it all over again.
I hate having to pull up one menu, then pull over to yet another menu to turn the damn thing off. I hate not getting any kind of confirmation when you're turning it off so you can accidentally select "Shut Down" by mistake and have to wait for it to shut down to turn it back down instead of being able to abort the process. I hate having 87 different Vista programs I don't use readily available in my start menu, yet I have to spend five minutes searching through seven different menus to play fucking solitaire. I hate how your minimized windows don't extend all the way over to the left. My inner O.C.D. self is going ape shit every time I look at the bottom of my screen and see half an inch of empty space between the start menu and my first minimized window.
I also hate how I have to take a shit right now. That really isn't Vista's fault, but it is pissing me off so I figured I'd throw it out there. We had that Pizza Hut lasagna for dinner while I watched the NFL draft. Of course the Lions fucked it all up again by blowing yet another draft pick on another quarterback that isn't going to pan out. Unless of course Matthew Stanton Orlovsky Harrington Batch Kramer Peete Ware actually works out this time and he's worth the millions they're throwing at him to not lead them to the Playoffs. And even after the waste of a first overall pick they fucked it up again by taking first a tight end and then a safety with some very good linebackers still available when they desperately needed one. I don't care if those two assholes turn out to be the next Shannon Sharpe and Rod fucking Woodson, they need a fucking linebacker. I seriously just about shit an intestine right out when they announced those picks. And speaking of shit, I really do have to take a shit so I should probably finish bitching about Vista.
Well I forget where I was going. My train of thought has been completely derailed. I can think of nothing right now other than my rumbling bowels, threatening to erupt. All I know is Vista sucks and the Lions are going to suck again next year and I have to shit and fuck everything.