OH MY GOD!!!!! DID YOU HEAR TIGER WOODS CHEATED ON HIS WIFE?!?!?! HOLY SHIT THAT IS SOME SHOCKING FUCKING NEWS!!!!! WHO WOULD HAVE GUESSED THAT A MAJOR PROFESSIONAL ATHLETE WHO CAN GET ANY WOMAN IN THE KNOWN UNIVERSE WOULD CHEAT ON HIS WIFE!?!?!?! I FOR ONE AM SHOCKED AND ASTOUNDED AT THIS EARTHSHATTERING NEWS THAT IS DEFINITELY WORTH MAJOR MEDIA ATTENTION AS THIS EVENT CLEARLY HAS SERIOUS IMPLICATIONS ON THE DAY-TO-DAY LIVES OF EVERYONE WHO READS THE NEWSPAPER, WATCHES TV, OR STUMBLES ACROSS SOME SHITTY WEB SITE ON THE INTERNET!!!
DAMN DUDE, I FEEL TERRIBLE FOR HIS WIFE WHO TOTALLY SHOULDN'T HAVE SEEN SOMETHING LIKE THIS COMING!!! I MEAN SERIOUSLY BRAH, WHEN ONE OF THE RICHEST, MOST SUCCESSFUL, AND MOST FAMOUS ATHLETES IN THE HISTORY OF MAJOR SPORTS MARRIES AN INTERNATIONAL SUPERMODEL, THAT IS CLEARLY A VERY SERIOUS AND SACRED MARRIAGE THAT SHOULD BE TAKEN SUPER SERIOUSLY!!! OBVIOUSLY THEY JUST MARRIED EACH OTHER BECAUSE THEY EACH WANTED A SOUL MATE. MONEY, FAME, AND LOOKS COULDN'T HAVE HAD ANYTHING TO DO WITH THEM GETTING MARRIED. I MEAN, SURE, IF HE HAD JUST MARRIED HER BECAUSE SHE'S AN INTERNATIONAL SUPERMODEL AND IF SHE HAD JUST MARRIED HIM BECAUSE HE IS A SUPER-FAMOUS ATHLETE WITH MORE MONEY THAN JESUS CHRIST THEN SHE WOULDN'T REALLY HAVE A RIGHT TO COMPLAIN BECAUSE THEN SHE WOULD JUST BE A GOLD-DIGGING WHORE ANYWAY.
BUT THAT'S OBVIOUSLY NOT THE CASE HERE SO THIS IS A SUPER SERIOUS ISSUE!!! THEY SHOULD KICK TIGER WOODS OUT OF THE PGA FOR CHEATING ON HIS WIFE!!! SEE, THAT'S WHY THEY SHOULDN'T HAVE LET A BLACK GUY IN THE PGA IN THE FIRST PLACE!!! I TOLD YOU THEY'RE BAD NEWS!!! WE SHOULD'VE JUST STUCK WITH THE BORING 80-YEAR-OLD WHITE GUYS WHOSE DICKS DON'T WORK ANYMORE. HE TOOK THEIR JOBS!!!