I just got back from seeing "The Dark Knight Rises." I had intended to see it opening weekend, but due to various illnesses between myself and my wife, we didn't get to go until now, but it was certainly worth the wait. With a couple glaring things that I absolutely hated (which I'll get to), I really enjoyed it. If this does end up as the final Batman installment with the Bale/Nolan combination then it's a damn shame, because I don't see the franchise going anywhere but down with a new combination. The expectations will be just too high. However, having said that, I have a few questions...
Couldn't they have given Bane a mask that made it slightly easier to understand what the fuck he was saying? It sounded like he was speaking with a fake accent while juggling marbles in his mouth.
There's no organized crime in the city whatsoever now? None at all? Bullshit.
And since when would something like the "Dent Act," which streamlined the law enforcement process and restricted criminal rights, be passed at the local level without being challenged nationally?
Why exactly hasn't Bruce Wayne left his house in eight years?
And what horrible accident could've possibly occurred in his own house that was worse than all the ass-kickings he got while fighting criminals as Batman that forced him to use a cane to walk?
If the police commissioner says that there's an entire fucking army underground led by this jacked-up monster who doesn't think twice about killing his own men, why wouldn't the police at least send a couple cops to investigate, instead of assuming he's crazy? I mean these are the same police that were just talking about how bored they are since there's nothing to do since the Dent Act completely eliminated all organized crime in the city.
When Catwoman gave Bruce Wayne her speech about the revolution against the rich people, do you think the "Occupy" organizers got pissed about Hollywood stealing their idea?
And isn't Anne Hathaway , like, a LOT hotter than those "Occupy" people?
When the police were chasing Bane and his band and Batman suddenly showed up to help, why all of a sudden did all the police completely forget about the gang that just shot up the stock exchange in favor of trying to catch a guy who hadn't been seen in years, was clearly trying to help them, and had helped them quite a bit in the past?
How the hell did people not notice that Bruce Wayne and Batman both just happened to come back at exactly the same time after a multi-year absence? They were both very high-profile public comebacks and you mean to tell me that not one person found that suspicious?
How would proving that Bruce Wayne was defrauded at the stock market be a difficult matter? His prints were stolen and he got Bane's henchman's computer (proof of what they'done) after his gang was very widely seen attacking the exchange. Would people really think that Bane shot the stock market up only to do nothing at all, and Bruce Wayne gambling all his money away at the stock market at the same time was a total coincidence?
Why did the electric company turn off his power just because he lost his money? That's kind of a dick move. Shouldn't they wait until he doesn't pay his bill for a couple months first?
If (as is revealed later) Miranda Tate was just interested in ruining and eventually killing Bruce Wayne and taking over Wayne Enterprises, why did she decide to randomly fuck him for no apparent reason after he had already lost his money and she had control of his company? Was she just trying really hard to confuse him? Or is she just a total whore?
Why would Bane leave Batman for dead in the pit? If he was so up on the history of Batman with the League of Shadows, then he should probably know that leaving Batman for dead isn't a very good idea because he doesn't cooperate.
I know we're pretending for the sake of the story that she's tougher than your average woman, but how is it okay that they put Catwoman in prison with men? That seems like it would have some ugly consequences.
Of all the NFL players they could've possibly used in this movie, Ben Rapistberger and the Steelers? Really? Not that I could be so lucky to have that scene contain Matthew Stafford and have Calvin Johnson in the Hines Ward kick-returning role, but Rapistberger? Really? You're really going to pick one of the most hated players in the entire universe for your movie?
And Hines Ward returning a kickoff for a touchdown? That may have required a bigger suspension of disbelief than anything else in the movie.
And how deaf/oblivious/stupid was he to not notice that the entire field had caved in around him as he was returning that kickoff until he got to the end zone?
And why the fuck were the defenders still focused on tackling him instead of, oh I don't know, GETTING THE FUCK AWAY FROM THE FIELD THAT WAS CAVING IN ALL AROUND THEM?
So we're supposed to believe that Gotham is living under the rule of a lawless warlord who is threatening to nuke the city, and the President of the United States made a deliberate decision to stay out of the situation? This presents a slight problem with the suspension of disbelief, because I can only think of one other movie in the history of cinema wherein the President of the United States pretty much said about an American city "Oh well, they're fucked. Just let them all die." That movie? The Simpsons movie. So this plot takes the same turn as "The Simpsons" and we're just supposed to buy into that?
Speaking of just buying into something, an awful lot of the citizens of Gotham have taken pretty well to being under the rule of a guy who's killed countless people, fucked up the city, and threatened the rest of it with nuclear destruction. You wouldn't think these people would be so eager to join his army as they are.
How is it they couldn't get the police out from where they were trapped underground, but they were able to somehow continually get them enough food and water to keep 3000 cops alive for three months?
Wow, the Scarecrow was able to heal up pretty well from when he went crazy a couple movies back.
When the people were forced to try to make it across the ice as punishment, why didn't a single one of them think to attempt to make it by crawling on all fours (or even slithering on their belly) rather than walking like normal? If you're trying not to break the ice, you want to spread the pressure from your body weight as much as possible, so you want to have as much surface area contact as possible. Seriously, did not one of these dipshits take a damn physics class in high school or what?
Wow, Batman sure healed up pretty well in just a couple months in the pit. And he got pretty jacked, too.
So the trick to escaping the pit is to not use the rope so you're scared shitless of dying? If that's the trick, and these guys know that, why haven't more of them done it and escaped?
And how is it these grown-ass men who are apparently able to bulk up like super badasses in the pit aren't able to make the jump, but a little kid was able to?
When the cops were let out of the underground after three months, how is it their uniforms were still clean and tidy after three months of (presumably) not being taken off? Unless of course the cops all got nekkid underground in the middle of winter for the hell of it.
And how weasely was it of the cop who didn't want to join Gordon when it was just him and a few others to suddenly want in on the action when he had the rest of the cops back above ground?
So they spent three hours establishing Bane as this unstoppable, totally evil badass, and in one scene they turn him into a crying little pussy who's just taking orders from his girlfriend and needed her help to beat Batman? Not since the Star Wars prequels has such an incredibly awesome bad guy been neutered so thoroughly.
If Miranda Tate/Talia al Ghul wanted Batman to know that she was Ra's al Ghul's daughter, why wouldn't she have told him BEFORE Bane threw him in the pit? Did she know he was going to escape? And if she knew he would escape, what was the point of throwing him in the pit in the first place?
And why are she and Bane still hanging around town when that whole nuclear bomb thing was going to go off at any minute?
Since Bane turned out to be nothing more than a pathetic lackey for his whore girlfriend, Batman clearly needed to be turned into a giant pussy too. He was beating Bane by himself in a one-on-one fight until Bane's big bad girlfriend was just too much for him to handle, and then he needed his own girlfriend to swoop in and rescue him. So basically we've been watching two giant pussies in a slapping fight for three hours when the real story was whose girlfriend is tougher?
I thought that bomb had a 6-mile radius? If it was still visible from the city when it exploded, how is it the blast didn't affect Gotham at all?
Was it really necessarry to beat us over the head with the obvious by having someone call Batman's little buddy "Robin" as though there was anyone who didn't figure that out throughout the course of the movie and the countless hints that were dropped?
How did Batman and Catwoman have enough money to move out of the country? Batman didn't take any of his stuff with him to sell. Did Catwoman steal some more stuff before she used the "clean slate" thingy?
Isn't putting a bunch of curious kids in the Wayne mansion kind of risky, what with the secret entrance to the Batcave and all? Especially considering it's strongly implied that Robin will be using it.
Okay on second thought, after looking at all the plot holes and disappointment of a Batman movie being about his girlfriend beating up the bad guy's girlfriend, maybe it wasn't as good as I thought. And now if it does end up being the last Bale/Nolan Batman movie, it's a damn shame mostly because it was so weak compared to the first two.
people didn't realize just how many plotholes this movie had