Well, once again, it's that time of year when we Americans look at everything we're ungrateful for and pretend, just for one day, that we're not the most greedy, wasteful society the world has ever known. So in the spirit of that, here is the list of things I'm thankful for in 2007.
There have been a few stumbling blocks along the way, but at long last, the wedding will happen. So I'll feel less guilty about a woman who isn't my mother doing my cooking and cleaning while I play video games. In 36 days my fiance will be my wife. At least until I trade her in for someone younger.
The wedding will probably get me a bunch of cool shit. And maybe some money, too.
The wedding also means I'll not have to pretend to like my relatives anymore after I get all my wedding loot since they can't take it back and I'm old enough that presents aren't really a big deal.
Warhammer's release is getting closer by the day. World of Warcraft is starting to get pretty old and they keep dumbing it down every patch, and it's time to turn my fat nerd attention somewhere else.
I've almost got my Dell account paid off so I can be rid of those assholes forever. Not only do their computers suck, but they're glorified criminals. First of all, they never gave me my $100 rebate. The rebate form claimed to wait 60 days before calling them. I waited 60 days, never got it, and then called them, at which point they claimed they never received my rebate form and they could only process rebates within 30 days of the invoice date. That wasn't suspicious or anything. It's funny, but they're the only people I pay who seem to have trouble getting my mail. Three times they have claimed they never received my check when I mailed it in and had the copy of it in my records and nobody else seems to have trouble receiving my payments. But every time they claimed they never received it so they felt justified in charging me excessive late charges. Fucking crooks.
My brother is almost back from France and he hasn't been raped by any horny French men. Yet.
The creepy fat guy downstairs who was always walking around with his rolls showing underneath his all-too-short Bengals jersey moved.
The Spiderman trilogy came out on DVD so I no longer have to break out the LOTR trilogy on those days when I just want to sit and stare blankly at the TV and do nothing else all day.
I got some new boxers to replace the ones I have with holes in them.
I'm finally not puking, coughing, and having raging diarrhea anymore.
And now that I'll have a wedding ring, I'll have a really convenient excuse every time all the white trashy women I apparently attract hit on me. Of course I'll have to take it off when I go hang out by the middle school to pick up chicks.