Recently I wrote a piece called "The Pros and Cons of Moving to Texas" as a result of my younger brother and his wife moving to San Antonio recently.
You should add a comment section to your posts. I have no way to bitch and defend myself on behalf of my Texas brethren. Have a good Easter.
- Justin of Texas
Justin, thanks for the email. The comments section probably won't happen for two reasons. First, I did actually have a forum section at one point in time that was specifically designed for people to come talk about anything and everything on my site and it really wasn't used much. Second, as I quickly saw with the short-lived forum, and with my own experience with forums and comments sections elsewhere, it quickly deteriorates into trolling and other such nonsense. For example, I can predict with 100% certainty that with a lot of things I write that some people with little to no sense of humor find very polarizing, here is what would happen in a comments section:
Comment #1: Hay nicee articl, ur funny as shit man lolololol!!!!!11!!! FIRST POST BIZZNATCHES!!
Comment #2: WHAT?!?!?! HOW CAN YOU THINK THIS SHIT IS FUNNY!!!!!?!?!?! THIS ISN"T FUNNY! RANDY SHOULD DIE INA FIRE B/C HES N ASSHOLE!!!!!!!! AND IF I EVER SEE HIM I WOULD KCK HIS ASSS!
Comment #3: whatever bro, your just jealouus cuz your not funny
Comment #4: YOUVE GOT A BIG MOTH KID!!! HOW ABOUT I SHUTT IT FOR U? I COULD KICK UR ASS TOO!! AND HIS AT THE SAME TIME B?C YOU"RE BOTH PUSSIES!!! PLUS YOU ARE OBVIOUSLY RETARTED B?C YOU DON"T KNOW TEH DIFFERENCE BETWEEN YOUR AND YOU"RE GET A LIFE LOSER DICKHEAD!!!!!!!
Comment #5. HAHA the comments on this site are great.
So yeah, I have no plans to put up a comment section any time soon. The similarities between arguing on the internet and competing in the Special Olympics have been well documented and frankly, I am not spending my time and money so a bunch of anonymous raging kids can argue on the internet. I do, however, always read any and all emails I get (unless they contain something about buying a watch or making my penis bigger) so you are always welcome to drop me a line at firstname.lastname@example.org
However, in the spirit of fairness to those of you from Texas, so you know I certainly don't consider Ohio to be anything to brag about:
THE PROS AND CONS OF STAYING IN OHIO
PRO: More tolerable summers.
CON: The tolerable summers are filled with two-lane highways with one and a half lanes blocked off with orange cones.
PRO: Easier to make the high school football team without the overgrown farm boys to compete with.
CON: Harder to make the high school honor roll without the overgrown farm boys to compete with.
PRO: Fewer crazy redneck preachers.
CON: More Jehovah's Witnesses.
PRO: Farther away from the Mexican border and the drug smuggling violence that goes along with that proximity.
CON: Closer to the Canadian border and the hockey stick smuggling violence that goes along with that proximity.
PRO: Texas doesn't have Cedar Point.
CON: They also don't have Amish Country.
PRO: You're not from the same state as the Dallas Cowboys.
CON: You are from the same state as the Browns and Bengals.
PRO: People from Ohio are far more likely to be taken seriously in a job interview.
CON: They're also far less likely to be taken serious in a fight.
PRO: The women are much smarter, making it much easier to have a quality conversation.
CON: The women are much smarter, making it much more difficult to convince them that three and a half inches is actually pretty big.
On second thought, maybe we'll just call this a wash.