I have a few questions about the Star Wars movies, such as:
Episode IV: A New Hope
Why would the Empire be sending schematics to their top-secret Death Star via an interceptible transmission?
Of course how could anything as ginormous as the Death Star be secretive considering how many people it would've required to build?
So who decided that Alvin & the Chipmunks speaking Chinese would make for fearsome robot slavers?
Considering that C3PO was actually made by Darth Vader as a child, how ironic is it that he says "Thank the maker" in the middle of his crusade helping to bring down Darth Vader?
I never did understand the whole reason behind having Luke fall for Leia, only for her to turn out to be his sister. I don't know. Maybe because I'm not from Tennesee.
And am I the only one who doesn't think Leia is anything to get excited about? I realize she's apparently like some nerd fantasy goddess but I just don't see it.
If Obi-Wan Kenobi was trying to hide from Darth Vader, did he really think going by Ben Kenobi would fool anyone?
And how dumb was Darth Vader to get fooled by it?
When R2D2 sensed the sand people, why exactly did Luke say "Oh let's go look at the dangerous sand people to make sure they're here" instead of saying "Oh let's get the fuck out of here?"
Why would anyone refer to "The Force" as an ancient religion? Up until 20ish years before this movie takes place, the universe was watched over by the Jedi, who use The Force. That's hardly "ancient."
I know I asked this in Part 1, but seriously, how does using the Jedi mind trick on one person stop everyone else present from noticing that person saying completely uncharacteristic things?
Considering the Jedi Council thought Anakin was too old to train as a Jedi when he was 9, how is Luke not too old as a teenager?
How is it everyone of different races all speak different languages, yet they can all understand each other?
And how many foreign languages did everybody have to take in high school?
When Luke told Leia that Ben Kenobi was there to rescue her, how did she know he meant Obi-Wan when she'd never heard that name before?
Why would you dive headfirst into a gaping black hole when you have no idea what's on the other side?
Who the hell makes jokes as they're about to die a horrible death by garbage compressor?
Or horrible death by anything else that led to jokes in these movies?
So they've got this big-ass battleship with tons of people on board, and nobody noticed the old man walking around who walked right in and turned off the tractor beam?
And nobody noticed that the tractor beam was suddenly not on anymore for no apparent reason?
I realize that when this movie first came out the light-saber duel between Obi-Wan and Darth Vader was probably the coolest-looking thing in film history, but now it just looks like two tired, old men playing with cheap toys.
Why do the rebels say "May the Force be with you" when they're not Jedi?
Why exactly did Luke expect Han Solo to just randomly decide to join the rebels? He was a hired mercenary who made it very clear at every step of the way that he was only in it for the money and wouldn't lift one finger unnecessarily.
And why did he suddenly decide not to be a mercenary anymore after all?
How did Luke get to master the force in the time it took the Millennium Falcon to fly from Tatooine to Alderaan when Jedi trained for years to master it?
Why didn't Chewbacca get a medal at the end of the first movie like Han and Luke did? Sounds like some racist shit to me.
Episode V: The Empire Strikes Back
Even by contemporary standards, this abominable snowman costume looks REALLY fake. I'm surprised there's not a visible zipper.
Anyone else get totally grossed-out with the lip-locking siblings scene?
So if hog-tying the mechanical elephant gunner thingies worked so well, why didn't they do that to all of them?
Why was Yoda afraid when Luke pointed his gun at him?
I realize that the voice of Yoda was done by Frank Oz, but must he have made him sound so much like Fozzy Bear?
Shouldn't Yoda have recognized R2D2 as the droid who served Anakin and Obi-Wan in the Clone Wars?
I realize they were saving it for dramatic effect, but wouldn't the emperor and Darth Vader mention something about him being Vader's son during their conversation of converting or killing him?
Why are Obi-Wan and Yoda talking as though Yoda trained him when he was trained by Qui-Gon Jinn?
How do all these planets in all these systems just happen to have exactly the right temperature, air, and atmospheric composition to support life?
Why does everyone always get their hands cut off in light saber fights?
Why would Darth Vader give Han Solo, his enemy who he's been chasing all movie, over to Jabba the Hutt and risk him escaping rather than just kill him outright and be done with it?
Episode VI: Return Of The Jedi
Isn't it pretty coincidental that not long after the Death Star (which was supposed to be the end-all be-all ultimate space station) gets blown up the Empire has plans for an even more end-all be-all ultimate space station that they almost immediately start building?
And if it's so much better than the Death Star, why did they not build that instead of the original Death Star in the first place?
Considering that Luke spent like twenty minutes training with Yoda, can he really call himself a Jedi? Everyone else trained for years before they were even allowed to take the trials.
How did someone as fat as Jabba the Hutt get to be so powerful? Couldn't any scrub just kick him in the balls and run away?
How convenient is it that when C3PO is translating alien languages Jabba can't understand, and translating Jabba's alien language that his visitors can't understand, that he translates both into English?
And if everyone can understand English, why don't they all just speak it, instead of speaking languages other people don't understand and need a translator for?
Again, is Leia supposed to be hot in the little sex slave outfit? I've gotten bigger woodies at the buffet line.
And why did Jabba put her in that outfit and chain her to him anyway? Is he supposed to be able to have sex with her?
If Palpatine can sense that Vader wants to look for Luke, why can't he sense that Vader offered Luke the chance to join him and overthrow Palpatine together?
Or that he offered Padme the chance to overthrow Palpatine and rule together at the end of Episode III?
I mean really, just how gullible is Palpatine?
And if Vader is so sure he can overthrow Palpatine, why doesn't he just do it already?
And if Palpatine is the real bad guy in charge of everything, why hasn't he been in Episodes IV - VI more than what he has?
If Yoda's 900 years old, he must have collected a lot of Social Security over the years.
As Yoda was giving Luke his dying advice, did he really have to say "Luke" at the beginning of every sentence? It isn't like there was anyone else in the room that they would've been confused.
Why did Obi-Wan the ghost need to sit down on a rock to talk to Luke after Yoda's death? Do ghosts get tired?
Luke took the news that Leia was his sister pretty well considering he'd been trying to bone her for three movies.
And how is it Leia was going to develop Jedi powers with no other Jedi around to teach her?
And how was she supposed to become a Jedi when there were no other female Jedi in any of the six movies? Did The Force suddenly realize how sexist it was being?
I'm glad Han Solo is back on good terms with Lando after he sold him out to Vader. I can see how someone would get over something like that so quickly.
Why would they build the new Death Star with the EXACT SAME weakness the old one had? Isn't that kind of handing it over to the rebels on a plate?
With all the people who died in these movies, couldn't they have killed off C3PO?
If the ewoks are just cutesy little baby animals like they're making them out to be, how did they make weapons and clothes?
Why does Vader all of a sudden after three movies start referring to Luke as "my son?"
Why does Palpatine want Vader to convert Luke to the dark side? Did they forget the Sith rule that there can only be two at a time (one master and one apprentice)? So who's the odd man out?
Funny how the little gerbils with their rocks and bows were able to overcome storm troopers with their laser guns.
Didn't Palpatine realize that egging Luke on to use his hate and aggression to go closer to the dark side would just remind him to be careful against giving in to those emotions?
How many times has Darth Vader lost his hand now? 3? 4?
Vader's burns healed up pretty well from when he was completely covered in lava on the volcano planet.
Why would Luke put Vader's mask back on for his funeral pyre when he had asked Luke to take it off before he died? Was he kind of embarrassed at just how ugly his dad really was?
Considering how hard and how many times R2D2 got his ass kicked in all those vicious battles over six movies, he's in pretty good shape. Not so much as a scratch on him anywhere.
Ironic how the humans are dying, getting frozen in stone, and getting artificial limbs, but the beeping trash can is still in mint condition. Maybe they were worried about his resale value.
So Vader was a vicious bastard his whole life, murdered countless people and made countless more suffer, but he said "I'm sorry" seconds before he died so he gets to spend the afterlife with the good guys? Sounds like another religion from another old popular fantasy epic....................Oh yeah. I went there.
For more Star Wars foolishness, check out Star Wars: questions part 1