So i had ths awesume fucking idea today at the bar. My wife shoudla et me pick up all the slutty bar hos at the bats whenb we see her brother at his gsigs. That would be fucking aweseome. ZLike thiwere was thes one chick tiwht really nice tits and a pink tube top on. I'm pretty sure her tits were fake. And yeah. They're fake./ Cause like, they we re way too bif to b e on someone her si ze. ANd she had a pink tube tip on. I'm pretty sure she was a sluit.
So anyway my idea was to do her. I'm pretty sure i could get her, what with her being a slut and all. And ui bet she'd really be impressed with my drunken, flacid penis I have almost no control over at the moment. Yeah why is it you're horniest when you're drunk? yet you have the lowest control over your fucking parts? When ytou're drunk i mean. That sucls. Its like how you have to work when you're young and could be partying and banging sluts. and then you retire wand do nothing when you're too old and decrepti to enojy it/. It sucks/.
So nayway, i weas going to nail that chgick at the bar. Most of the chicks were kinda ugly. Or like, really really really fat. Then there was one that I'd probably do, but i wuldn't tell any of my friends about because shr really wasn' that hot at all. And she had kind of an emo haircut. So like, we'd be fucking and she'd want to put in some fucking goood charlotte or some shit. And then I'df get pissed off and leave and just end up masturnbating anyway. God where the fuyck was i?
So yeah, my great idea about screwing skanky bar hos. Tober fair, i told my wife she could go homne with somebody lelse too. Like thewre was this one really drunk guy. He's one of those drunks who's been drinlking so much for so long that he's like evolved beyong a normal drunk into something not even human anymore. Like he didn't talk at all, he just kindn of swayed back and forth eith either a beer or a cigarette. And he wsan't quite standing up straight. SO yeah I told my wife she could go home with that guy while i could home with the skanky bar hos.
But she sai d no. She never lets me do anythiung. She wouldn't let me drive home either. Some shit about me being drunk or some shit. I nnow i'm drunk, i was just going to do it for a challenge. Althogh i probably wouldn't actlly drive srunk if she gave me the keys. I'd ponab;y fust go inside and tell the bar hos that i was too drunk too drive home so one of them needed to dri ve me home to their place. If you know what ui mean. And then we'd fo it. With my drunken flacid penis.