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Ben Roethlisberger is an asshole. He has always been an asshole. He will always be an asshole. The illegitimate bastard children he undoubtedly has are probably assholes too. Long-time readers of my site may recall my first article about what an asshole he is, written almost five years ago titled "Just because you're famous doesn't mean you're not a dick." For those who haven't read (or don't care to read) that one, I went to high school with Mr. Roethlisberger. That's how I know he's such an asshole and why I can only hope I live long enough to dance on his grave. But even if Ben outlives me and I never get the opportunity to dance on his grave, he has given me plenty to celebrate over the last couple years. First, he refused to give up riding his motorcycle, even when the Steelers flew in legendary quarterback Terry Bradshaw to try and convince him to hold off on it until after he's done playing football. Ben laughed it off, then promptly crashed his motorcycle (while not wearing a helmet), causing a head injury he still uses as an excuse every time he throws a bad pass. Then, last off-season he was accused of raping a hotel hostess in Las Vegas, to which his classic reply was "I've never sexually assaulted anybody, especially not her." He acted guilty as hell, but most people gave him the benefit of the doubt because, to be fair, it's a he-said-she-said situation and nobody but those two really knows what happened.

Then, about a month ago, another woman accused him of raping her. Earlier this week the local DA announced that charges would not be pressed. There were two primary reasons for this. One was that the victim's family requested that charges not be pressed because they didn't want the ordeal to continue (though they made it clear they were not retracting their original story). The second was that there simply wasn't enough evidence that it could be proven in court. However, with the details that have come out, the damage has been done. He may be legally in the clear, but his reputation may be tarnished for good. He has lost virtually all endorsements, most NFL sources are expecting him to be suspended by the league, the Steelers, or both. There's even word making the rounds that the Rooneys (the family that owns the Pittsburgh Steelers) are fed up with Roethlisberger and may be looking to trade him.

What Roethlisberger has done is really quite an amazing feat. He is one of the winningest quarterbacks in league history (for someone his age). He is a Pro-Bowl level franchise quarterback in his athletic prime. He has two Super Bowl rings (and it's a short list of people who can say that). And all people are talking about are the women accusing him of rape. For those of the Facebook persuasion the "Not Getting Raped By Ben Roethlisberger" page is just a few thousand fans shy of Ben's official fan page. He is very fast becoming a sports punch line. Like Mike Tyson, O.J. Simpson, and Pete Rose before him, he could be this generation's poster boy superstar that seemingly has everything, only to fall from grace.

Now, as someone who has been trying to get people to see what an asshole he is for years, I could do one of two things. I could gloat and say "I told you so." Or, I could be mature and not take pleasure in the misfortunes of someone else. And you know what? For the first time in my life, I think I am going to take the high road and be mature. I am not going to poke fun at the mess Ben Roethlisberger has gotten himself in...

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...because everyone else has already done it for me. I'm just going to sit back and enjoy the show. So enjoy everything that I don't have to say about Ben Roethlisberger, because somebody else already said it for me.

 

 

"You have to just sit there and think what the Commissioner's face must have looked like, and Mr. Rooney as well, as he was listening to the sordid details, and some of the lurid details the district attorney was mentioning in his press conference Monday." - Rich Eisen, NFL Network analyst

"He got a haircut. Went from the mullet to the Semper-Fi look. He got rid of the party in the back, which is a good thing." - Brian Baldinger, NFL Network analyst, describing how Ben cleaned himself up to go to the principal's office (his meeting with NFL commissioner Roger Goodell)

"I believe Ben has to be suspended." - Jamie Dukes, NFL Network analyst

"Peyton Manning, Tom Brady, Brett Favre, and Donovan McNabb make off season headlines, but not for being investigated or, as was the case three years ago, being involved in a frightening motorcycle wreck." - Steve Wyche, NFL.com writer

"I've made it clear to Ben that his conduct in this incident did not live up to our standards." - Art Rooney II, Steelers president

"We all hear the alarm -- that steady, high-pitched, right-through-the-center-of-your-skull wail that you just hope isn't a true emergency but simply can't ignore. And that's your first instinct with this Ben Roethlisberger story: to keep your fingers crossed that it won't amount to anything more than a whole lot of noise. I remember being at that place when Michael Vick's name first came up in connection with a dog fighting ring. I ended up where so many others did soon thereafter, with a feeling of overwhelming dread and disgust and the opinion that I would never want the guy as my quarterback … or to have any other role on my team. - Vic Carucci, NFL.com writer

"I am concerned that Ben continues to put himself in this position." - Roger Goodell, NFL Commissioner

“There's nothing greater if you're single than to walk into a bar with beautiful women and have them just fill your ego up. And you ask yourself, ‘Would they pay any attention to you if you weren't, you know, who you are?' Of course not. Because I'm not that attractive, and neither is Ben." - Terry Bradshaw, Steelers Hall of Fame quarterback on the pitfalls of the bar scene as a sports star

"His teammates aren't overly fond of his supposed dramatics -- remember the late-season criticism by Hines Ward about Roethlisberger not playing in a loss to Baltimore because of a concussion? -- and won't be thrilled about dealing with this latest discussion." - Steve Wyche

"The last couple off-seasons there's just been one incident after another that just makes you scratch your head and wonder if he does, in fact, 'get it'." - Rich Eisen

"He has provided this for himself and the black eye for Pittsburgh." - Brian Baldinger

“When I told him to park the motorcycle, he got pissed,” Bradshaw said. “Then he had that accident. Since then, he doesn't like me, and I am learning not to like him.” - Terry Bradshaw

"Ownership remains dismayed and embarrassed by Roethlisberger's actions in a Georgia college town this off season as well as a string of other off season incidents they find troubling. The Rooneys are livid." - Jason La Canfora, NFL Insider, quoting a source within the Steelers' organization.

"The last thing you want to hear is that a two-time winning Super Bowl quarterback and the face of a franchise that's world-renowned is in a one-commode, uh, closet, if you will, with somebody that he has bought drinks for." - Rich Eisen

"All of us in the Steelers family are concerned about the recent incident involving Ben Roethlisberger in Georgia." - Art Rooney II

"Fame and fortune make you more of what you are, and we really don't know until people are put in these positions who they really are. He seemed to get it from what he said, but the question becomes actions." - Jamie Dukes

 

“Once would scare me to death. Twice. I don't know how you would sleep. I couldn't handle that.”And of his relationship with Roethlisberger?“Now he (Roethlisberger) hates me forever." - Terry Bradshaw

"We are not condoning Mr. Roethlisberger's actions that night, but we do not prosecute morals, we prosecute crimes." - Fred Bright, Baldwin County, Georgia District Attorney.

"If you meet Ben he's 'yes, sir' 'no, sir', nice to a lot of people, but there are obviously a lot of people that would beg to differ, you know there's a young girl in Georgia who would raise her hand right now and beg to differ." - Rich Eisen

"If he were my son, the best way I could answer it is Ben, grow up. Come on, you're supposed to stand for something. You're the leader, you should be a role model. Grow up, cut it out." - Fred Bright

"I think the punishment for Roethlisberger has to meet the status of the black eye he's given to the Steelers and the league. This decision needs to be swift, and the punishment has to be more than two games." - Brian Baldinger

"The motorcycle, obviously he was foolish to not wear a helmet, but a lot of people do that...What happened in Nevada, a lot of people believed he was wrongly accused in that case and obviously nothing has happened there, that's another one. Then this one happens and now suddenly you start looking at it as a track record." - Rich Eisen

 

Ah. Priceless. For more fun at Ben Rapistberger's expense, check out "Ben Roethlisberger's To-Do List."