The following will all occur within the next ten years. Kiss my ass Nostradamus.
Gas prices will get so high that all Americans will drive electric cars. This will cause the oil companies to branch out into the electricity business, causing the price of electricity to quadruple.
Paris Hilton will get knocked up. She will talk about how excited she is to be having a child. Then once she starts putting on weight she will not be excited anymore. She will "lose the pregnancy" and go on Oprah talking about how tragic it was to lose her child. She will be smiling the whole time and nobody will buy it.
She will also get AIDS.
The comic-book industry will run out of superheroes to base movies on. This will cause some very bad movies to be based on less conventional characters. The fad will be over after the abysmal failures of movies based on the Kool-Aid Man and McDonald's Hamburglar.
Hollywood will then turn to fantasy fiction as their next source of movie ideas, following the success of the Lord of the Rings, Chronicles of Narnia, and Harry Potter franchises. This will, however, ultimately fail. Lionsgate will purchase the rights to the Forgotten Realms series. They will cast Will Smith as Drizzt Do'Urden, angering fanboys everywhere. The final insult will be when he appears on the Tonight Show and pronounces his character's name "Drizzit." This will further infuriate the fanboys, who will refuse to see the movie, leading Lionsgate to file bankruptcy following the $300 million loss of the movie. New Line will similarly suffer when they script the Alliance as "the good guys" in their movie based on World of Warcraft. These mistakes will prematurely halt the fantasy movie fad.
They will turn once again to much-later sequels to '80s movie franchises. The trend will be effectively killed, however, following the failure of the sixth Indiana Jones movie. In it, Indy is put in a nursing home and must don his fedora and fight his way past an army of nurses and angry seniors to find his pills. Harrison Ford will be blamed for the movie's failure, as he will no longer have the strength left to crack the signature bullwhip.
Ben Affleck will come out of acting retirement when he and Matt Damon finally come up with the script for Good Will Hunting 2 they've been talking about for ten years. The movie, however, will suck. Ben Affleck will go back into retirement and move to Idaho.
Puerto Rico still will not be a state.
Canada, on the other hand, will. It will be renamed New Montana.
The Democrats still won't know who to nominate for President.
While the Democrats are choosing between lackluster candidates, the Republicans will pass what will come to be known as "The Arnold Amendment," which allows citizens not born in the United States to run for President. Arnold Schwarzenegger will then be heavily favored to win the election. He will, however, lose his party's support following an incident at a Republican primary debate in which he calls his opponents "girlie men." Out of favor with the Republicans, he will concede the nomination to his leading opponent. At the concession speech he will apologize, then announce "I'll be back........in four years."
Repeated plastic surgeries will cause Joan Rivers' entire face to fall right off.
Michael Jackson will once again be taken to court for improper conduct with young boys. This time, however, he will not have enough money for a lawyer, so his fan club of middle-aged women will take up a collection to hire him one. They will raise enough money to hire Johnnie Cochran and he will be found innocent.
Marijuana will not be legalized. Stoners will continue to bitch and protest. The rest of us will continue to not care.
Kentucky will abolish all higher education within the state.
They will also legalize inbreeding and lower the state's age of consent to 10.
American Idol will finally be canceled after people realize that all there are only so many different ways Simon Cowell can say "That was bloody awful."
Francis Bean Cobain (daughter of Kurt Cobain and 2008 Celebrity Whore Champion Courtney Love) will reach the age at which she gets her inheritance from Kurt's estate. Courtney will sober up long enough to sue her daughter for it.
I will still be awesome.