Hey, if I've learned one thing from reading your site. It's that you are obviously a pimp, so I have a question for you. What's your secret? I'm a virgin and it's driving me crazy so what's your advice on how to get laid?-Sean, Ohio
Well, Sean, you seem quite perceptive. I am, in fact, the master of getting pootang. There are literally piles of chicks at my apartment. You actually have to move a couple of them if you want to open the bedroom closet. That's how many chicks there are .
Now for your question. First of all, you're too eager. If being a virgin is driving you crazy, everyone you hang with and their mothers all probably know it, and that's not good. Chicks don't dig guys who seem to want it too much. You have to pretend like sex is the last thing on your mind. It's bullshit, I know, but you have to pretend. Trust me, nothing turns chicks on like pretending you don't give a shit.
Second of all, as I have learned in my many years of banging hot chicks, I've learned that the key to snagging the snatch is a great pickup line. Feel free to use any of mine. They've been very good to me over the years.
Your boobs look heavy. Let me hold them for you.
I've just been diagnosed with a terminal illness that will only be cured if we fuck. You wouldn't want to be responsible for my death, would you?
If I told you you had a great body, would you let me see you naked?
Nice ass. Can I fuck it?
It's really small. You won't even know it's in there, trust me.
Wow. Those tits were worth every penny.
Every time chicks don't want to have sex with me, God kills a kitten.
Your legs must be tired, because I've been chasing you for three blocks.
Exits can also be entrances.
Your sister said I was the best she'd ever had.
Don't worry, the doctor said it's not contagious.
Your mom is hot. Here's hoping you look like that in 20 years.
I hear you give it away like candy at a Halloween parade.
and my personal favorite...
Hi. I have a tiny, crooked penis. Let's fuck.
There you have it Sean. My awesome pickup lines guaranteed to get you all the nookie you want. And remember, if you use one, and it doesn't seem to work, try another. She's probably just playing hard to get.
chicks totally want to do me right now because of my awesome pickup lines