I checked my mail the other day and lo and behold, I had a letter about being a Nielsen household. Finally, my opinions on the sorry state of television are going to be heard by the industry movers and shakers. It's about damn time. So in that spirit:
THINGS I DEMAND BE CHANGED ABOUT THE TELEVISION INDUSTRY
More dick and fart jokes.
Less "grown-up" sitcoms on the big networks. I keep attempting to watch prime time sitcoms and other TV shows on the major networks and I never last more than an episode or two before I get bored and go back to watching cartoons. Let's face it, I'm almost 30 years old and I still can't watch big boy TV, so it looks like I may never mature to the point where I am able to enjoy it. I've tried to tell myself in the past that those shows are all just stupid, but I'm realizing now that the answer is probably that I'm just very, very, immature.
Along with that, more cartoons for us almost-30-year-olds who are too immature to watch big boy TV.
No more of this "10 episodes and done" crap you see with new TV shows. I am so tired of commercials hyping brand new shows, only for the networks to give up on those shows a couple months later. Shows take longer than that to hit their stride and develop a strong fan base. That's one of the reasons I don't watch more TV than I do, it's too hard to get behind something. And's it's not just the major networks. SYFY has had a couple shows I liked until they pulled the rug out from under them 10 episodes later. Yeah, seriously, SYFY. You know, that network that just runs shitty straight-to-TV movies about vampires and aliens and the Loch Ness monster for 90% of the time they're on the air. A few weeks ago I saw them show a movie called "The Terminators" which was about machines taking over humanity, which was followed by the movie "Transmorphers" which was about a race of alien robots taking over humanity. And I'm still trying to figure out how they can do that without being sued. But they show that crap, yet they yank original TV shows after ten weeks. That's great. Seems like it would almost be worth writing and producing to not get behind it long enough to see what it's got.
Less baseball, more football. And it doesn't even have to be the NFL. I can watch other football. I'll watch the CFL, UFL, hell bring back the XFL for all I care. Just as long as it's not baseball.
Or soccer. Fuck soccer.
Speaking of sports, putting the women's pro sports on Comedy Central where they belong would make them so much easier to find.
Although speaking of Comedy Central, South Park must be retired. It's less and less funny each season, so at this point it's just lessening its' own legacy.
Ditto for Futurama. I loved Futurama and have all the DVDs from the FOX days, but the Comedy Central incarnation has delivered more misses than hits.
A Steven Seagal network. All Seagal, all the time.
No more self-righteous, ass-kissing award shows where overpaid fartknockers tell the rest of the world how great they are.
The death of the reality TV era.
Speaking of reality TV, I want to see more truth in advertising. MTV must rename themselves "Shitty Teen Reality Shows TV."
Less of this news crap, more pro wrestling.
There you have it. I, the Nielsen, have spoken. Now get moving. Chop chop!
people agree there isn't nearly enough pro wrestling on TV