My neighbors got a new dog. Have I ever mentioned that I hate my neighbors? Well, I hate my neighbors. They're loud, they stay up partying at all hours of the night, they smoke all kinds of shit that you can smell a mile away, and they spill trash all over the place. So I hate them. Today when I came home from work, there was a dog who greeted me as I came up the stairs.
This wasn't just any dog. It was a yipper. The thing was about 6 inches off the ground and wouldn't stop yapping. It kept yipping at me and walking towards me like it was going to attack me, but when I turned around and faced it (didn't even take a step in its direction or make any threatening moves) it jumped back a few feet. So then I would turn back to face my door and it would run at me and start yipping again. I thought it was going to run into my apartment with me, so I unlocked my door, then jumped in its direction, then when the dog ran back towards my neighbors' door, I opened mine and went in.
It didn't stop there. This dog must be pissed off at the world. Actually, I can't really blame the little shit because if I lived with my neighbors, I'd be pissed off too. Hell, just living next to them pisses me off. So this fucking dog just wouldn't stop yipping. All damn day it was the same thing. Yipping and yipping and yipping. Irritating as crap. I'm trying to mind my own business playing World of Warcraft like a good neighbor, not bothering anybody. But this fucking dog won't shut the hell up. Do you know how hard it is to try and withstand an onslaught of orcs and trolls when you have a dog yipping away? The damn thing was even irritating my cats. They went over to the window right next to my front door and were staring outside at it, occasionally hitting the window in frustration. You know it was annoying them because even the fat one who hardly ever moves got up to show his frustration.
So, I went out, shot the dog, stuffed it, and mounted it on my wall. Problem solved.