LEAVE BEN ALONE! LEAVE HIM ALONE! I'M SERIOUS!
Okay, but seriously though, Ben Roethlisber has had his widdle feewings hurt. I hope you're all happy. In fact, he has been so hurt by criticism from people (like me) from his hometown of Findlay, Ohio, that he has officially changed his hometown. Yes, you read right. Ben is no longer saying he's from Findlay and has had his hometown changed on various profile pages across the net. Apparently now, Ben is from Cory-Rawson Ohio, which is located between Gotham City and Metropolis, in the land of Mordor, a long time ago in a galaxy far away, which you can only get to by taking a small red pill. And yes, I just made references to Batman, Superman, the Lord of the Rings, Star Wars, AND the Matrix all in the same sentence. I'm pretty proud of just how far I was able to geek that one up.
But as you may have guessed by that tangent, there is, in fact, no such place as Cory-Rawson, Ohio. There is school by that same name, which Ben attended, which got students from the nearby towns of Mt. Cory, Ohio and Rawson, Ohio, but there is no Cory-Rawson, Ohio. That's right, not only did he change his hometown, he invented a town that he wanted to be from because apparently no other town wants to claim him. And for the record, I've not heard of anyone from Findlay who is upset about being disowned by Rapistberger.
But to be fair, I think the people from Findlay have gone a little too far. See, what a lot of people don't know about Findlay is that there are a lot of women there, so they tend to not be a fan of rapists. But in Ben's defense, he just recently had his impending suspension reduced that he got for totally not raping that chick in the bathroom in Georgia while his bodyguards blocked the door so her friends couldn't get in. But he did have his suspension reduced from six games to four because he hasn't raped anybody recently (or at least he figured out how to keep the pesky bitches quiet) so he's clearly turned over a new leaf. So in conclusion:
LEAVE BEN ROETHLISBER ALONE! HE'S NOT WELL RIGHT NOW! LEAVE HIM ALONE! PLEASE! I'M SERIOUS!
For more fun at Ben's expense see:
you should never take pleasure in the misery of others
Ben Roethlisberger's To-Do list