time warner = retards pt 4 (4-25-08)
celebrity whore championship update (4-24-08)
drunken ramble: best idea ever (4-18-08)
confirmation that rugby players are gay (4-17-08)
all 32 entrants in the fourth annual Celebrity Whore Championship Tournament (4-10-08)
time warner = retards pt 3 (4-8-08)
greetings from the Navy (new email) (4-8-08)
new email address/slight delay in voting for fourth annual Celebrity Whore Championship (3-31-08)
time warner = retards pt 2 (3-25-08)
Celebrity Whore Championship IV (3-16-08)
drunken rambling: fuck obama (3-1-08)
drunken rambling: good places to have sex (2-24-08)
valentine's day gift ideas (2-14-08)
HARDCORE PICS OF TOM BRADY AND BILL BELICHICK!!! XXX!!! (2-6-08)
why the music industry is in trouble (1-23-08)
Disney World park rules (1-12-08)
best...wedding...ever (1-04-08)
2007: a crappy year in review (12-28-07)
Christmas traditions (12-25-07)
fucking Foot Locker (12-22-07)
"The God Who Wasn't There": an honest critique (12-18-07)
chicks are like cars (new email)(12-05-07)
that's not a fucking parking space asshole (11-27-07)
what i'm thankful for this year (11-22-07)
drunken rambling: titties (11-10-07)
why i'm going to hell (10-26-07)
how to score with chicks (new email)(10-6-07)
why weddings are full of sexist bullshit (9-30-07)
time warner = retards (9-21-07)
ask randy: my girlfriend might be going away to college (9-11-07)
good days and great days (9-1-07)
what makes a good porno? (8-25-07)
a crappy guide to bachelorhood (really old email) (8-18-07)
...and you want me to give you a job? (8-9-07)
how big of an asshole are you? (7-31-07)
hey assholes, avril lavigne is NOT punk (7-24-07)
shutup and make me a meatloaf bitch: new email (7-10-07)
maybe our legal system works after all (6-9-07)
i fucking hate people (5-30-07)
11 movies I won't be seeing this summer (5-22-07)
the new Celebrity Whore Champion (5-13-07)
if i nailed kirsten dunst (5-7-07)
holy crap! someone beat paris hilton! (5-7-07)
cheating on your girlfriend: new email (4-28-07)
the final four whores in the Celebrity Whore Championship (4-28-07)
a crappy tourist's guide to surviving france (4-27-07)
i wanna be your girlfriend (new email) (4-12-07)
so what have we learned the last few months? (4-3-07)
cut your fucking hair, hippie (3-31-07)
the 32 entrants into this year's Celebrity Whore Championship (3-31-07)
archive your site (new email) (3-23-07)
what the hell is wrong with you people? (3-23-07)
announcing the third installment of the Celebrity Whore Championship (3-13-07)
why i hate good charlotte so much (new email) (3-10-07)
britney spears, the good, the bad, and the bald (3-10-07)
my theory about the dixie chicks (2-27-07)
cool ways to break up with your girlfriend (2-25-07)
a summary of all popular conversation since the death of anna nicole smith (2-13-07)
wal-mart employees are fucking retarded (2-4-07)
ask randy : bros before hos (1-9-07)
2006, a crappy year in review (1-2-06)
all I want for christmas (12-24-06)
coming soon, from the makers of dance dance revolution and guitar hero (12-12-06)
bull-dyke email part 3...and 4 (12-9-06)
ask randy: how to break the "just friends" barrier (12-9-06)
dell = piece of shit (12-1-06)
the bull-dyke writes back (new email) (11-23-06)
what I'm thankful for this year (11-23-06)
uh-oh, I pissed off some bull-dyke (new email) (11-17-06)
having a penis is awesome (11-10-06)
fight aroma with aroma: new fan mail (11-03-06)
stop bending over backwards for kids (11-03-06)
things that scare me this halloween (10-31-06)
no asshole, I don't want to try your fucking aroma therapy (10-24-06)
south park episode 1008 - make love not warcraft: corrections (10-18-06)
decorations are gay (10-13-06)
five reasons god intended for us to be sexual deviants (9-29-06)
shut the fuck up and cut my hair bitch (9-22-06)
how to outsmart lying, manipulative bitches (9-22-06)
i wish i was kevin federline (9-12-06)
joan rivers is a nasty old bitch (9-2-06)
there's a fucking rug on my toilet (8-29-06)
HOLY SHIT! LANCE BASS IS GAY? (8-8-06)
ask randy: when is it okay to lie to women? (8-8-06)
best.....email.....ever (7-25-06)
why won't you make fun of coldplay?: new email (7-25-06)
coldplay sucks: new email (7-18-06)
watching people act like assholes on TV (7-11-06)
superman returns : questions (7-3-06)
things dumbasses say to try and convince people they're smart (6-27-06)
oh my god, it's 6-6-06, everyone panic (6-6-06)
The da vinci code: how to make a shitty movie and insult my intelligence at the same time (5-22-06)
why getting haircuts pisses me off (5-16-06)
ask randy: is college really a waste? (5-7-06)
ask randy : i want to do this hot whore with hot boobs (4-27-06)
email: what happened to emo faggots part two? (4-27-06)
the final results of the Celebrity Whore Championship (4-27-06)
13 reasons everyone should watch v for vendetta (4-17-06)
how emo pussies are destroying society (4-11-06)
all the entrants in the second annual Celebrity Whore Championship (4-1-06)
isaac hayes is a hypocritical fartknocker (3-16-06)
my neighbors got a new dog (3-10-06)
what pisses me off the most about velentine's day (2-22-06)
finally, indisputable scientific proof of which gender has better taste (2-13-06)
std's I'd be willing to get to do angelina jolie (2-6-06)
ask randy: she won't stop asking me out (1-28-06)
my world has been turned upside-down (1-28-06)
an apology to those of the southern persuasion (1-20-06)
why foreigners should not have jobs which involve speaking with the general public (1-5-06)
2005: a crappy year in review (1-1-06)
the word "athlete" has two syllables, dumbass (1-1-06)
if you love your kids so much, tell them to stay out of the fucking street (12-9-05)
ask randy: brains vs. beauty (12-2-05)
hot animated chicks that do NOT appear in disney movies (12-02-05)
what I'm thankful for this year (11-24-05)
ask randy: the whigger test (11-21-05)
ask randy: I accidentally killed my sister's fish (11-7-05)
a history of shitty acting (11-04-05)
take a fucking shower people (11-04-05)
things more likely to happen than me seeing the movie "waiting" (10-27-05)
movies I'm pretty sure only me and about six other people like (10-27-05)
a super-sized travesty: in defense of mcdonald's, a damn fine company (10-13-05)
the last thing i want to read while i'm taking a shit (10-10-05)
ask randy: how to prevent "the itch" (9-29-05)
see, I'm not the only one who thinks big nose is a dick (new fan mail)(9-29-05)
i'm not the only one who thinks church sucks (new fan mail) (9-29-05)
ask randy: how to get a famous chick (9-12-05)
the winner of the Crappiest Job on the Planet contest (9-5-05)
things my mommy taught me were satanic (8-31-05)
see all the entrants in the Crappiest Job on the Planet contest (8-17-05)
how to avoid getting stuck watching shitty movies on dates (8-8-05)
just because you're famous doesn't mean you're not a dick (7-28-05)
eight reasons adam sandler should have retired five years ago (7-8-05)
Crappiest Job on the Planet (6-29-05)
why being an internet pirate is awesome (6-29-05)
my plan to have a racially integrated web site (6-22-05)
it is okay to be white, no seriously, it is (6-14-05)
no, not all guys are assholes, you're just a dumb whore (6-10-05)
reality TV shows I might actually watch (5-31-05)
wow, I guess NASCAR fans can use email after all (new dumbass email)(5-26-05)
why the 80's were awesome (5-23-05)
the final Celebrity Whore Championship bracket (5-21-05)
Randy vs. the Shit of Death (5-17-05)
Star Wars Episode 3 spoiler 5-11-05)
acrappywebsite.com is going X-TREME! (5-5-05)
the pros and cons of catapulting old people into the sun (5-1-05)
two down, two to go (new fan mail) (4-22-05)
Finding a shitty movie (4-19-05)
what women really want (4-15-05)
the list of 32 entrants for the Celebrity Whore Championship tournament (4-11-05)
Mike thinks women's sports suck, too (Fan Mail) (4-10-05)
Pagans for Randy (Fan Mail)(4-10-05)
now I REALLY want to do Angelina Jolie (4-7-05)
first ever Celebrity Whore Championship (4-5-05)
Satan's Angels HQ (6 comics) (4-1-05)
she's dead, hopefully we can move on with our lives now (4-1-05)
Stupid-Ass Coworker Bingo (3-30-05)
why I hate grocery shopping (3-28-05)
I was wrong, I admit it (3-22-05)
Mark McGwire is a cheating dicknose (3-22-05)
a list of all the important contributions women have made to society (3-16-05)
the integrity of Major League Baseball, and other such nonsense (3-16-05)
say hello to some irritating catch phrases (3-8-05)
my plan to get famous (3-6-05)
the best sex I've ever had (3-2-05)
Paris Hilton is a retarded whore (2-25-05)
why rugby players are gay (2-22-05)
kids say the darndest idiotic bullshit (1-19-05)
gee, I wonder why people think cops are assholes (1-18-05)
American Dad is NOT the same show as Family Guy (1-18-05)
most romantic Valentine's Day dinner ever (1-14-05)
Buddha is not a fat green guy (2-11-05)
interview: Willie Wonka (2-10-05)
movies that prove that everyone is retarded but me (2-10-05)
worst Super Bowl ever (2-9-05)
Napoleon Dynamite: proof that any dumbass can make a movie (1-24-05)
country music is for ignorant hillbillies (1-20-05)
Is Your Child A Goth? (1-10-05)
being naked with your kids (1-7-05)
See you next year HA HA HA HA! (1-2-05)
2004, a crappy year in review (12-31-04)
I hate my neighbors (12-29-04)
my New Year's resolution (12-28-04)
"Express Lane" means it's supposed to go faster (12-27-04)
women's sports suck (12-27-04)
you're entitled to your own opinion (12-27-04)
The Manchurian Candidate: cranky bitches, ugly bitches, and incest (12-26-04)
poetry is for douchebags (12-25-04)
MERRY CHRISTMAS EVERYONE! (12-25-04)
The Caveman who Stole Christmas (12-22-04)
Woodland Critter Christmas: best Souh Park episode ever (12-21-04)
discipline your fucking kids (12-21-04)
Annoying Shitheads Anonymous (12-21-04)
no asshole, I'm not going to see Meet the Fockers (12-19-04)
God dammit, stop giving Vin Diesel movie parts (12-19-04)
shut the fuck up, hippie (12-18-04)
finally, a talk show that doesn't suck (12-16-04)
interview: Christopher Reeve's ghost (12-11-04)
worst Christmas specials ever (12-11-04)
sexual harassment or national security? (12-11-04)
Blade Trinity: how to ruin a good movie franchise (12-9-04)
take off your fucking santa hat asshole, you look like a fag (12-6-04)
I'm sorry not everyone is as smart as you (12-6-04)
a crappy tribute to boobies (12-5-04)
The Punisher: The Complete Idiot's Guide to Ultimate Revenge (12-3-04)
acrappywebsite.com: more offensive than porn (12-3-04)
old people are funny (12-2-04)
King Arthur: too little cleavage to save this movie (11-30-04)
quiet everybody, Jesse Jackson has an opinion (11-30-04)
I want to do Angelina Jolie (11-28-04)
interview: Dale Earnhardt's ghost (11-28-04)
hottest Disney chick ever (11-27-04)
I suck at video games (11-26-04)
Alexander: the homo who would be king (11-25-04)
what I am thankful for (11-25-04)
where Jesus really came from (11-24-04)
things I would rather do than go to church (11-23-04)
and I thought I bitched a lot (11-23-04)
Team America: fuck yeah (11-20-04)
the whore checklist (11-19-04)
Bill Clinton is a pussy (11-18-04)
THE Ohio State University (11-18-04)
fuck The Wonder Years (11-16-04)
five shitty family tv shows and why they sucked (11-15-04)
interview: John Lennon's ghost (11-14-04)
you're fat, get over it (11-12-04)
Veteran's Day isn't a real holiday, go to work (11-11-04)
God dammit I hate Christmas (11-11-04)
all written material and shitty artwork © 2004-2008 by randy, acrappywebsite.com, unless otherwise noted
Feel free to link acrappywebsite.com, or any material from the site, on your personal web site, live journal, blog, etc. I also grant permission for anyone to copy, distribute, or use for entertainment purposes, any of my material, on two conditions. First, you must credit me (randy, acrappywebsite.com) as the author. Second, if you will profit in any way from said use, you must first contact me and get my permission in writing. For example, so long as you give me authoring credit, you may use one of my articles as a humorous speech for a not-for-profit speech competition or a school project (I've already granted one such request). If, however, you want to use one of my articles for a speech competition that awards monetary prizes to the winners, you must first email me to request my permission. When using my material, the only alterations I will allow (besides just choosing excepts) is if you need to omit certain language. In that event, simply put [expletive deleted] in place of the word you wish to omit. Don't just change dirty words to less offensive words (e.g. change "fucking asshole" to "gosh darn jerk"), because that will make me sound like a pussy. If you reproduce or use any of my material without giving me credit or if you profit from using my material without my written consent, or you do anything else with my intellectual property that pisses me off, I will sue your freaking ass.
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