"Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof; or abridging the freedom of speech, or of the press; or the right of the people peaceably to assemble, and to petition the Government for a redress of grievances."
Those informant hillbillies strike again. This time, as most football fans are surely aware by now, it was Hank Williams Jr., who is best known as that greasy redneck who sang the Monday Night Football theme we've all been muting for the last 20 years. You know, the one where he says. "Are you ready? Come on get ready! I said get ready! I mean really ready! No seriously, guys, get ready! Have I given you ample opportunity yet to get ready? If not, approximately how much longer will it take you to get ready?" Seriously, that song is so fucking annoying for numerous reasons, not the least of which is the gratuitous over-use of the word "ready."
This past Monday, Mr, Hillbilly Jr. was a guest on Fox News, which should have been a tipoff because it is well documented that nothing good ever, EVER happens on FOX news. When discussing President Obama playing a game of golf with House Speaker John Boehner, Williams described it as one of the "biggest political mistakes ever" and said "That'd be like Hitler playing golf with Netanyahu." Yes, he actually compared President Obama to the biggest mass murderer and arguably the single most hated individual in the entire history of time. He actually thought that would be a good thing to do as a public figure in the internet age. Fucking amazing. It would actually go from bad to worse, when Williams was given an opportunity to clarify himself, and point-blank stated that President Obama and Vice President Biden are "the enemy." Is that really supposed to make any of what you've said sound any better? Awesome. Just awesome.
And if you haven't heard, in response to this obvious PR disaster, Hank Williams did the EXACT SAME THING the Dixie Chicks did in an eerily similar situation a few years back when they put a bullet into their own careers. Yes, he tried to furiously back pedal to do damage control after ESPN made the decision to pull the MNF theme song from this week's game broadcast. And yes, after he realized he had already fucked himself, he switched to blabbing about free speech to try and make himself the martyr with this gem that went up on Williams' web site after ESPN announced they had shit-canned his ass for good. "By pulling my opening Oct 3rd, You (ESPN) stepped on the Toes of The First Amendment Freedom of Speech, so therefore Me, My Song, and All My Rowdy Friends are OUT OF HERE. It's been a great run."
I am so sick and tired of the same fucking pattern over and over.
1.Celebrity says something incredibly stupid.
2.Celebrity's incredibly stupid thing is all over everywhere.
3.Celebrity realizes what a colossal dipshit they are.
4.Celebrity falls all over themself trying to back pedal and apologize that everyone can see right through.
5. Celebrity realizes the damage has already been done and they've already totally fucked themselves, so they pull the free speech card in a situation where it isn't even remotely applicable to try and turn the situation on whoever it is they got in trouble with for being so God damn stupid in the first place.
You know, just once, I'd like to see a celebrity refuse to do the back-pedaling thing, if only to be different. I could respect someone a lot more if when they get in trouble they would say "Yeah, that's what I said, that's how I feel, and if you don't like it then you can fuck yourself." This bullshit followed by the free speech martyring is so fucking trite and ridiculous.
And can I just say that every time some mouth-breathing dipshit talks about the First Amendment in a situation it doesn't apply, God kills a baby kitten. Read the fucking wording in the amendment. All it says is that the government can't do anything to restrict your free speech. And the government hasn't done anything to restrict his speech. The police are not beating down Hank Williams' door to arrest him for seditious speech and they're not going to. Where in the First Amendment do you see ANYTHING about ESPN not firing somebody for going on FOX news and comparing a sitting President to someone who gassed six million people? It isn't in there, because the Constitution doesn't govern private individuals or companies fuckheads. We as individuals (or companies) have the right to associate or disassociate ourselves with whomever we wish, for whatever reason we may or may not have. ESPN absolutely has the right to say that they don't want their product to be associated with the likes of someone who will henceforth be known as "That dumbass hillbilly who compared Obama to Hitler and fucked himself out of an easy royalty check for life." Just like they had the right to fire Rush Limbaugh in the gig he had there when he made the unbelievably stupid comment that Donovan McNabb was overrated because the media wanted to see a successfully black quarterback. Both were incredibly stupid things to say, and while you have the LEGAL right to say them, ESPN has the LEGAL right to kick you off their network because they do not want to have their image tarnished by an association with someone of that mind set.
Seriously, why do celebrities feel they have a God-given right to be able to say whatever the fuck they want without any consequences when none of us "normies" can do so? If you go to work and tell your boss that he's a stupid asshole, you will get fired. And you couldn't file a wrongful termination lawsuit claiming that your employer violated your First Amendment rights because he wouldn't have. You have the LEGAL right to call your boss an asshole, and if you do, you will not be punished by any legal or government body for doing so. But your boss sure as hell has the LEGAL right to fire your stupid ass. This is not complicated shit people, it's elementary school social studies material. If you honest to God feel that Hank Williams Jr.'s constitutional rights were violated when ESPN decided to take his shitty song out of their opening, you need to do three things. First, go back to every government teacher you ever had and slap them for failing you so abysmally. Second, go to your parents and slap them for not realizing you belonged in a "special" school. And third, don't ever breed. Your ignorance needs to die with you.
And before I finish ranting about this, I just have to point out the two parts of Williams' statement that make me wonder how he continues to remember to breathe. First, I get that he wants to try and pretend to still have some dignity, but when you put out a "They didn't fire me, I quit" statement four days after his song was originally pulled off this Monday's show, and AFTER it was already announced by ESPN that they had decided to remove his song permanently, that's just pathetic and sad. Do you really think anyone believes that? And to imply that viewers are going to stop watching Monday Night Football because of this is absolutely hilarious. Who in the hell would stop watching football because the theme song was removed? I mean seriously, name one person who watched MNF for the theme song. That's right, NOBODY watched it for the theme song. That's why it's called "Monday Night Football" and not "Monday Night Bad Country Music Followed By Three Hours Of Crap."