So I'm a Lions fan. Yeah, I said it. They've been pretty tough to watch since Barry Sanders retired but I'm still watching. But this year they seem to be so bad that they just might go 0-16. Yeah, they all say a team can't be bad enough to go 0-16, that they'll win one just by accident, but I don't know. To me, the Lions have already had plenty of chances that any team worth their salt could have and should have turned into at least one win. They couldn't win last week when the Vikings tried everything they could think of to lose and only scored 10 offensive points. They couldn't win this week against the 1-5 Texans even with all the help they got in the second half what with blown plays and 15-yard penalties. They even gave up 48 points to the Packers in Detroit despite Brett Favre allegedly making some phone calls to Detroit's coaching staff to give them some insider information on his old team. If they can't turn any of these gimmes into a win, who exactly can they beat?
Last Monday they claimed they weren't giving up on the season, then Tuesday they traded away their only Pro-Bowl caliber player in Roy Williams and placed their quarterback on IR, leaving them with Dan "Out The Back Of The End Zone" Orlovsky, who seems hellbent on throwing the ball to every scrub on the field except Calvin Johnson, their lone big-play threat who got over 150 yards with only two catches on Sunday. So really, who can they beat? As of this writing, of their 10 remaining games, only 1 is against a team with a losing record. That doesn't bode well for a team filled with younger players and starters who would be backups anywhere else in the league. As a matter of fact, I wouldn't be surprised if I see the all of the following before the Lions win another football game:
A Democrat in the White House
World War III
Puerto Rico becoming the 52nd state
Canada becoming the 51st state
The invention of the flying car
Paris Hilton the nun
A Grammy on my mantle for one of my crapvids
A World of Warcraft expansion that doesn't lead to unplayable server instability
My hot steamy love affair with Angelina Jolie
Miley Cyrus's 18th birthday, at which point we could finally have a hot steamy love affair
A woman being named Super Bowl MVP
The second coming of Jesus
A ski resort in hell
And last but not least, I'm pretty sure we'll see the Bengals win before we see the Lions win. At least their quarterback is coming back from injury soon.