The nominations are in, and it's time to list the 32 celebrity whores to be entered into this year's Celebrity Whore Championship. And to clarify, for the second year in a row, I agree that Hillary Clinton is a bitch, but this is the Celebrity Whore Championship, not the Celebrity Bitch Championship, so nominating someone for being a bitch isn't going to make the list. And now, without further ado, the 32 entrants in this year's Celebrity Whore Championship...
Lindsay Lohan - The whore to finally knock Paris off the top of the slut-pile is back to defend her title.
Miley Cyrus - I included her because I figure someone with such a wholesome, kid-friendly image has got to be compensating for being such a dirty skank deep down.
Pam Anderson - She keeps bouncing between Kid Rock and Tommy Lee like some kind of trashy, untalented man sandwich.
Britney Spears - I'm pretty sure her going crazy, getting in trouble for being a shitty mom, and trying frantically to flush her career down the crapper is her way of trying to get people to forget what a big freakin whore she is.
Angelina Jolie - Always a runner-up, never a champion. What does this Hollywood home wrecker have to do to bring home the title?
Jenny McCarthy - Jenny's another one trying to cover up her reputation as a whore. Her way is by writing shitty books on motherhood as a guide to raising your illegitimate bastard children when you get drunk and knocked up by some random guy at a party.
Courtney Love - Let's not forget that last year it was actually Courtney Love who eliminated Paris Hilton from contention. What surprises does she have in store for us this year?
The Olsen Twins
Jennifer Love Hewitt
Paris Hilton - She lost her title last year without actually facing the current champion and you know she can't be happy about that.
Well there you have it. All the entrants in this year's Celebrity Whore Championship. Keep checking back every day to vote for your favorite Celebrity Whores until we have crowned a winner. Thanks for the nominations and good luck to all the whores.